What To Do When You Don’t Feel Talented At Homemaking
I can honestly say my husband is a better house cleaner than I am. For years that really bugged me…until I realized that just because cleaning didn’t come natural to me, I wasn’t a bad homemaker. In fact if you list all the elements of keeping a home, housecleaning is just a small point on a list as long as my 5 foot 9 inch self, and I am pretty darn good at some of the other points on that homemaking list.
Yet, I still end up with piles of unfolded laundry like the one in the picture above. Yep, that isn’t a stock photo–that is my actual couch and a real-life pile of clean, yet unfolded laundry. Thankfully my kids are old enough to fold it all for me so I can go on to other areas of homemaking. Years ago a pile this big of unfolded laundry would have made me feel like a failure but not anymore; I have learned ways to be content in my homemaking skills.
What To Do When You Don’t Feel Talented At Homemaking
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1.List what elements of your homemaking you are good at
I know some of you are saying, “But I am not good at anything related to homemaking.” That simply isn’t true. It is probably true that you’re not perfect in any area of homemaking but being perfect is impossible, being good at something isn’t.
From day one I have been good at budgeting and stretching our families dollar further. When I had down days those first few years of homemaking, when it felt like the dishes were going to eat me alive and if not then the laundry would certainly drown me, I tried to focus on how good I was at stretching a dollar (as well as a few other homemaking talents I have) for just a few moments to drown out the voices in my head that were telling me about every area of homemaking I needed to improve in.
2. Look at each mistake as a chance to learn
You are going to fail, but that is okay because failure makes you human. Instead of dwelling on your failures as a homemaker look at them as a challenge to come up with a plan to learn so you can do it better next time you are faced with that same challenge. Believe me, a lot of work us homemakers do is repetitive so you’re going to have plenty of chances to learn from mistakes and try again.
3. See correction for what it truly is
Sometimes the person who points out all our wrongs is doing it for the wrong reasons, other times they are truly correcting with the right spirit and we need to listen. The hard part is growing in discernment and wisdom enough to know the difference.
There is a particular person in my life who always points out the one thing that isn’t done and never once praises me for what is done well. They then go on and on about how I could do that one thing I messed up better next time. At first, it really upset me. Now that I am older I can see that this person is looking for one area where they feel superior to me so they can teach me something.
Are they in the right? Nope, not at all, but this is simply this person’s way of starting a conversation with me. Odd, but they are loved dearly by one who loves me so I try to just let the, “Here is how you do it right,” lectures roll off my shoulders.
Other people have corrected my wrong homemaking behaviors simple because it was wrong, and I usually end up thanking those people once I get past hurt. I don’t take criticism well, but I am learning to keep my tongue when I receive some and then figure out if it was constructive or unwarranted before taking action.
4. Seek encouragement
Homemaking is the toughest job I have ever taken on. There is always something to do, always something I am behind in, always too many things that tugging for my attention than I can possible give energy to at one time.
For tough times I love a small group of close friends that I have in a Facebook group. They are there to pray when I need them to. They quietly read my rants and then tell me ever so kindly that I need to change my attitude. They provide me with their wisdom and encouragement.
If you haven’t already, make it a point this week to create a private group of a few close friends on Facebook who you know will help encourage you in your homemaking walk.
5. Never stop learning
The best way to improve as a homemaker is to have a lifelong learner attitude. Pick one area of your homemaking that you most want to improve in, and then read up on how others do it. Never stop gathering new knowledge.
A great book to start with–especially if you currently feel like you are drowning–is Say Goodbye To Survival Mode by Crystal Paine.