I can honestly say my husband is a better house cleaner than I am. For years that really bugged me…until I realized that just because cleaning didn’t come natural to me, I wasn’t a bad homemaker. In fact if you list all the elements of keeping a home, housecleaning is just a small point on a list as long as my 5 foot 9 inch self, and I am pretty darn good at some of the other points on that homemaking list.
Yet, I still end up with piles of unfolded laundry like the one in the picture above. Yep, that isn’t a stock photo–that is my actual couch and a real-life pile of clean, yet unfolded laundry. Thankfully my kids are old enough to fold it all for me so I can go on to other areas of homemaking. Years ago a pile this big of unfolded laundry would have made me feel like a failure but not anymore; I have learned ways to be content in my homemaking skills.
What To Do When You Don’t Feel Talented At Homemaking
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1.List what elements of your homemaking you are good at
I know some of you are saying, “But I am not good at anything related to homemaking.” That simply isn’t true. It is probably true that you’re not perfect in any area of homemaking but being perfect is impossible, being good at something isn’t.
From day one I have been good at budgeting and stretching our families dollar further. When I had down days those first few years of homemaking, when it felt like the dishes were going to eat me alive and if not then the laundry would certainly drown me, I tried to focus on how good I was at stretching a dollar (as well as a few other homemaking talents I have) for just a few moments to drown out the voices in my head that were telling me about every area of homemaking I needed to improve in.
2. Look at each mistake as a chance to learn
You are going to fail, but that is okay because failure makes you human. Instead of dwelling on your failures as a homemaker look at them as a challenge to come up with a plan to learn so you can do it better next time you are faced with that same challenge. Believe me, a lot of work us homemakers do is repetitive so you’re going to have plenty of chances to learn from mistakes and try again.
3. See correction for what it truly is
Sometimes the person who points out all our wrongs is doing it for the wrong reasons, other times they are truly correcting with the right spirit and we need to listen. The hard part is growing in discernment and wisdom enough to know the difference.
There is a particular person in my life who always points out the one thing that isn’t done and never once praises me for what is done well. They then go on and on about how I could do that one thing I messed up better next time. At first, it really upset me. Now that I am older I can see that this person is looking for one area where they feel superior to me so they can teach me something.
Are they in the right? Nope, not at all, but this is simply this person’s way of starting a conversation with me. Odd, but they are loved dearly by one who loves me so I try to just let the, “Here is how you do it right,” lectures roll off my shoulders.
Other people have corrected my wrong homemaking behaviors simple because it was wrong, and I usually end up thanking those people once I get past hurt. I don’t take criticism well, but I am learning to keep my tongue when I receive some and then figure out if it was constructive or unwarranted before taking action.
4. Seek encouragement
Homemaking is the toughest job I have ever taken on. There is always something to do, always something I am behind in, always too many things that tugging for my attention than I can possible give energy to at one time.
For tough times I love a small group of close friends that I have in a Facebook group. They are there to pray when I need them to. They quietly read my rants and then tell me ever so kindly that I need to change my attitude. They provide me with their wisdom and encouragement.
If you haven’t already, make it a point this week to create a private group of a few close friends on Facebook who you know will help encourage you in your homemaking walk.
5. Never stop learning
The best way to improve as a homemaker is to have a life long learner attitude. Pick one area of your homemaking you most want to improve in and then read up on how others do it. Never stop gathering new knowledge.
A great book to start with–especially if you currently feel like you are drowning–is Say Goodbye To Survival Mode by Crystal Paine.
If you would prefer something more hands on, I would recommend Crystal Paine’s 14 day course , that includes videos, a workbook and printables.
The course is called Make Over Your Mornings but it really should be called Make Over Your Days. Crystal isn’t going to make you get up at the crack of dawn to start your day, unless you want too, instead she will teach you how to organize your days in a way that leaves you feeling empowered instead of frazzled.
Get your copy here
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It’s true that learning the fine art of homemaking is an ongoing process. My children are in middle and high school and I am still making changes in the way I do things and who does what chores to help me out. Thanks for the post!
Yes, 20 years in I have changed how I have done things millions of times.
Oh you wrote this for me! I stink at homemaking. I do not like to cook, and I certainly not the best housekeeper. ( I could really care less) However, it is impoartant to others in the family so I need to give it some effort… But it is important to know what my strenths are too! It took me a while to be ok with the discrepancies. Focus on the positves!
Yes focusing on the positives. I find when I do I find the strength to improve in the areas of homemaking I am not so good at.
I know exactly how you feel. I’m very good at some things, but other things I am a complete failure. I’m wonderful in the kitchen, keep clothes washed, am organized with meal planning, but the clothes are never folded & put away, and there are always piles. Piles make me crazy & it’s a never ending, loosing battle! Grrrr!
Yes, piles are the worst. I feel sometimes like they grow while we sleep.
When my children were small I always hated that I could never get the stains out of my own clothing. My kids wiped their hands and mouths on me spit up and a lot of other ucky stuff. I felt grimy and unclean. I had to wear the stained stuff because I didn’t know about thrift stores and resale shops back then and I couldn’t afford to replace them. Now I have learned about stains but I miss those days with my children, I am now enjoying new times with my grandchildren. This time around with no stains. I am very grateful that so many people contribute their skills on Pinterest and I can still learn and try something new each and every day if I choose.
Yes Pinterest is a great place to learn homemaking tips.
My mother once complained that I “could not set a glass down straight.”
She is undoubtedly the best mother in the world, but once in a great while…..
(A very great while, I’m almost 70 and she is more than 90.)
My mother was an unhappy clean freak! To not be like here I was a slob!! Just to annoy the heck out of her I was just awful! But having my own family and a husband that was brought up as a slob as his mother was not the tidiest person around I had to pull up my sox and go for it! But with three toddlers under 5 it was a hard job as it was so bloody monotonous! But now they have all left and only have my messy husband to cope with and I just go with the flow! This morning he fried fish which I don’t eat, left over from the days when I was living at home, the smell of poached fish just turned my stomach! I left the kitchen and the floor spotless but on coming from the shower where I had to first clean his mess henow made a smelly mess in the kitchen and the crumbs all over the bench top and the floor! But I could sit down and cry, or like my mother cry and clean it or do what I did, put my clothes on, and my lippy, grabbed my bag and said bye darling, off to the quilt show, see you later! Stopped on the way at McDonald, got myself a lovely hot coffee and an english muffin with bacon and egg and I was a happy camper, then shot off to the show and had a ball! Bought a double wedding ring template set for $2, was $75 and felt so good! Off home and when I walked in he had gone out and left it as is! So a quick tidy and slinging stuff in the dishwasher and wiping things down and washing the stuff the dishwasher wrecks , a quick sling around with the vacuum cleaner, made the bed, quick dust around and hey presto, clean house again! Moral of the story, I had fun ,did not stress and it was nice and quick without resentment when I came home and rewarded myself with a nice bacardi and pepsimax! Sat in the sun and enjoyed life!
Sounds like you had an awesome day.
Thank you for being a “real” person. ?
Your welcome.
I have four children the oldest is fifteen and the youngest is nine months. I also have to work full time. I am the worst at laundry. I hate laundry, with a passion! I never sort my clothes which I know is the biggest laundry sin you can make. Many times I have two huge piles going. One clean and one dirty. I call them my laundry mountains. When it gets too overwhelming I tell my family we are having a clothes folding party which I have been told are the worst parties you can go too. I often feel like less of a mom because my house is usually a mess. And I often dream of an economy where we could survive on one income. Because then I would have so much more time for house work. Thank you so much for sharing your picture of the pile of clothes on your couch. Honestly I have always felt like it was just me. Next time I start hating on myself I’ll remember I’m not the only one.
Oh it is SO NOT JUST YOU! I have several other friends with laundry mountains of their own. Yes we hold something similar to a laundry folding party, I call it a family cleaning bee. Every once in a while if the house has gotten out of control I will have my children help me Saturday afternoon to whip it back into shape and then we celebrate with take out pizza for dinner on paper plates since after spending hours cleaning who wants to dirty up the kitchen right away.
Thank you. My husband makes me feel so terrible and says I do nothing- I have a four year old with Autisim, an 8 year old with a variety of neurodiversities, and a three month old baby. Its so hard to keep ot perfect, our house is loved in and I try so hard. But I don’t feel like I am enough
Sounds like you have a lot on your plate. I am glad these words encouraged you. You are enough!