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Before we leave places to find friends I feel the need to discuss just what to do when you get to all these events.
To extroverts some of these suggestions are going to seem silly but to introverts these tips are going to be just what is needed to make sure they go home from all these events with a few potential friendships made.
First let me state that there is nothing wrong with people watching at events and meetings. Introverts love to people watch, and it really does help us learn what a person likes and dislikes and their general personality style. Seriously you can learn a lot about a person just by watching how they interact with others and how they carry themselves across a room.
Where the problems arise is when all you do all evening is people watch. To avoid going home and realizing you didn’t talk to anyone all night even though you were in a crowd of 100’s (yes this has happened to me) set goals, and come up with conversation starters before you even leave the house.
Yes goals. This probably seems type A personality to a lot of people but when you are an introvert this really does help make sure that you people mix a bit rather than people watch all night.
A few examples of social event goals
I will start a conversation with at least …….people. (I suggest you go 1 number beyond what sounds comfortable to you)
This week at MOPS I will invite ….. to join me and the kids at Burger King after the meeting since I really would like to get to know her better.
This month I will invite one couple over to dinner.
A few example of conversation starters
The classic: What do you think of this crazy weather? Or hot weather… or cold…or windy…or rainy.
The compliment: Be genuine with this one only compliment on things you really do like and ask a question with the compliment so as to start a conversation . Oh I love your purse.Where did you get it?Really where is that?Is it hard for a new person in town to find?……keep the conversation going and it just might lead to another topic which might lead to another and before you know it you have a friend.
The Logo: Certain logos give a love for something away. If they are wearing 5K shirt then chance are they run and you can ask them about how hard it was to get started. If they are wearing a certain team’s shirt then ask what they like about the team.
The Tattoos: Some people consider tattoos a rather personal topic but I find people that have them love to talk about them. Ask what the tattoo means to them? What does it represent? How long ago did they get it? How long did it take? Some of the most interesting stories I have heard from people have come out of asking them about their tattoos (of course I am talking about those obvious ones, don’t ask someone about that one that peeped out of the top of their pants when they bent over…. can we say AWKWARD)
These are just a few goals and conversation starters I am sure if you took some time to brain storm you could come up with ones that suit your personality and comfort level best.
This post is part of the New Town to Hometown series. Use the links below to dig into the series.
Part One: Becoming Friend Worthy
- It all begins with fellowship with God
- The most important lesson in friendship building
- Are you welcoming?
- Create mutual bonds
- Meet a need and make a friend
- Don’t try to look perfect
- Not everyone is going to be your friend
Part Two: Places To Find Friends
- Start the search online
- Homeschooling groups
- Be the neighbor with the active porch swing
- Breaking the ice and setting goals (you are here)
Part Three: Creating Community
Silly Stories Of My Moving Adventure
- It is going to be a long trip
- When you give a two year old a marker
- I was a soap opera star for just one day
- A sign that the long trip was about to end
- What happens when your landmarks become cornfields
Become A Snail Pacer
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