Why You Don’t Need To Make Time For Friends


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Busy women often say it ” I wish I had more time for friends” . Truth, you do need friends, they are valuable to your mental sanity, but you don’t need to “make time” for them.

you don't need to make time for friends

I think our current generation gets caught up in the idea that “friendship time” has to be compartmentalized. People see friendship time on TV as time spent over restaurant meals, backyard BBQ and wild vacations.

Yes there is a need for that sort of friendship building time too, but not as much as we think. Truth be told, I think that if we all look at our friendships, the ones that run deepest do not exist because of a steady diet of dinner and movies together but from feasting on something much deeper;  time spent letting them see those parts of us only shown in the mundane.

In the mundane moments of life we let our guards down and our real selves shine through and that is when deep friendships take hold.  How do you let your friends into the mundane of your life?

Involve your friends in your every day life and watch your friendships deepen.

I think we could all learn a lesson from good old fashioned barn raising and quilting bees. These were times when men and women got together and worked while their hearts grew close to one another.

Sure you probably don’t need a barn in your postage stamp town yard, and true it is probably a wiser use of most women’s time to buy a quilt than to make one but there are some modern day chores we could involve our friends in that would not only help us both things crossed off our never ending to do list but also grow closer as friends.

1. Cook together

All families are pressed for time to prepare good home cooked meals for their family. Invite you friends over one Saturday afternoon to cook and bake up a storm and share the bounty. Working together you could easily make a weeks worth of meals for several families in just one afternoon. Give each family a list of food and supplies they will need to bring or better yet, shop for them together before hand and extend your time doing chores together.

2. Exercise together

I love exercising with my friends. It is like a extra strength medicine for my stress. Talking about what has been bugging me lately and getting my friends feed back as well as sweating it out, leaves me is such a great mood

3. Do yard work together

Clear out your garden beds together. Rake and bag all the leaves together in fall. Harvest your gardens together.

4. Do indoor renovations together

Paint a room together. Refurnish furniture together.  Smash down walls together.

5. Do seasonal projects together

Holiday baking. Signing and stamping Christmas cards. Visit the pumpkin fields together and then afterwards get together and one persons house and carve them all together.

6. Do errands

We all have to grocery shop, see if a friend can come and do her’s at the same time.

Do you shop community yard sales, or consignment sales to find deals to stretch your families budget? If your friends do too, consider shopping along side one of them.

Yes it will take a bit of time in the way of planning to perform these 6 things with friends, but it will be less time than the block of time needed to go out to dinner and movie with them, and the conversations will be so much more intimate. Your friend will see first hand what you feed your family when she shops with you. While running it is amazing how much more open I become about how I truly feel. While gardening perhaps your green thumb friend can spill all her tips that will help your brown thumb ways (mine have yet to fix mine but they try each year :) )

Next time you catch yourself saying “I wish I had more time for friendships” remember you don’t need more time, you just need to adjust your perspective of what friendship building time really looks like.

Looking for more building friendship tips? Follow my Friendships board on Pinterest.



  1. Thanks for sharing! This is very timely for me. I’ve been trying to figure out how to carve out time for friendships – and money. Since we live out in the boondocks we have to factor driving to meet friends into our gas budge.

    And when we have friends come to out house, I feel like I really have to make it worth their time and effort so… One thing I’ve been contemplating doing is getting a few friends together for a freezer cooking session. I haven’t worked out the details of how to split expenses and benefits, but it sounds like ti might be fun. :)

  2. Hi Victoria!

    I love this post. I have a friend who comes over twice a week and we exercise together and our kids play, which is great because I don’t have to workout those two days alone, and my son gets entertainment too! Just this past week we also made some healthy truffles together :) I agree with you that it definitely makes your friendships deeper to have your friends in your home and be able to do every day, normal life together.

    I just recently started my own blog and have been thinking a LOT about time management these days, so I am really glad to have stumbled upon yours! Thank you again!

  3. This is a great reminder for someone like me who is in a season of life that does not allow for going out to dinner and trips with friends. Having a friend that is willing and enjoys getting together to do everyday things with you are the best kind. Real friends don’t need fancy activities to keep interested in you.

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