How Going To Bed At The Same Time As My Kids Made Me A Happier Mom


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I have not always been an early bird. There was a time when I like staying up until past midnight and slept until the sun was fully up, but then I had a baby, and another, and then one more.

How going to bed at the same time as my kids made me a happier mom

How Going To Bed At The Same Time As My Kids Made Me A Happier Mom

Babies and toddlers Wear. You. Out! They did me, anyway. I would get to the end of the day with a huge list of things I wanted to do in the evening after I got them to bed and not have much energy to pursue it.

My list wasn’t just full of chores; it had things on it that refueled me. Things that brought me joy and thus allowed me to spread joy to others including my own family.

Instead of touching the list of things, I would spend a few hours watching TV like a zombie. Some nights when I did have a bit of energy I would try and get something done, but my brain was so tired I would only do things wrong.

I  would bake a cake without sugar. I would scrapbook but write down wrong dates or names.  The last straw was the day that my aunt wrote to say “thanks so much for the thank you note, but my name is…not grandma” turns out I had wrongly addressed a batch of thank you notes and my extended family was having a giggle at my expense.

The day I got my aunt’s letter I looked at the list of things I wanted to do that night and went, “Forget it! I am going to bed.” The next morning I woke up a good 30 minutes before any of the kids and I was shocked with what I got done in that short amount of time compared to what I was getting done in the evenings.

I also had more patience with the kids that day, and didn’t start the day with that, “I am so behind,” feeling. I truly was a happier mom.

I was hooked, and started going to bed once I had the kids down every night. Over time I woke up earlier and earlier too and got more and more done before anyone woke up. In fact, it has been 11 years since that first early morning and I am still getting up early–generally 1 to 3 hours before anyone else in the family–because I know it is the secret not just to my productivity but to my sanity.

Now, the title of this post is stretching the truth–I didn’t go to bed at the exact same time as my kids. I waited for them to fall asleep, which took about an hour, and then I crawled into bed (but that title would be way too long!).

I spent that hour getting ready for bed. I would pick up the house so I woke up to a tidy home, then put my feet up, knitted, and watched TV guilt free knowing I would have time in the morning to pursue not just a must do or two  but also the things that refuel me.  Once the kids were fast asleep in their beds, I went up to my own bed and went to sleep.

Now that my kids are teenagers, the truth is I go to bed before they do. They don’t need me to tuck them in anymore and they know that morning time is mom’s time to refuel and get things done.

If you too struggle to keep your eyes open at night, if all you seem to have energy to do is sit and watch TV for hours–which doesn’t seem to re-energize or refuel you at all–can I make a suggestion? Just go to bed!

How To Make The Most Of Your Mornings

If you are wondering what you would do with those morning hours, may I suggest Crystal Paine’s course “Maximize Your Mornings.” It will help you see your morning hours with potential. Crystal walks you through how to set goals, bust through stumbling blocks, and achieve morning success.

Crystal will teach you how to fuel your day by starting your morning off right. A lot of what she shares in her course is what I learned from trial and error those first few months after I started going to bed early and rising early. By buying her course you will save time figuring it out on your own and go straight to enjoying all the benefits of rising early.

Oh, heads up! She isn’t going to tell you how early to get up–that is up to you. Instead she is going to show you the benefits of beating the kids out of bed and putting the most important things first in your day.

Click here to get your copy .

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  1. I can relate to the realization that going to bed at a decent hour and getting up before everyone else reduces stress. My littles have grown up but I still get up long before my husband because mornings are “my time” and I am able to accomplish so much more when I start my day this way. I’ll have to check out the webinar I love learning new perspectives for organization.

  2. For most of my life I was a night owl and I would have rolled my eyes at this and said “Nah, I get more done at night” becuase I did. Then I got “old” LOL and my health got so bad that rest was my number 1 priority. A year into being back to “normal” and I still try to hit the sack earlier and get up earlier on days when I want to get some things done. I just need an hour or so of a quiet house. I do get a lot done in that time.

    Like you, my kids are now at an age where I often say “Good night, please be in bed by…” becaue I’m going to bed before them.

  3. I didn’t realize until you wrote this that I’ve been doing this for years. I started out doing it because we were cosleeping. I had to go to bed. Now I do it because I need a full night’s sleep.

  4. When the children were younger this always helped! I’m so glad you are bringing it up and sharing this little “secret” with other moms : )

  5. This is such great advice! You have helped your health so much by going to bed early! I do the same thing and I also get ALOT done first thing in the morning. This morning I cooked my husband breakfast, balanced the checkbook, paid some bills, and did a Bible study all before 8:00. I am very clearheaded in the mornings, and less so in the afternoons. I still get things done in the afternoon, but not as much as I accomplish in the mornings. 🙂

  6. Rebecca says:

    Great post! I have one question! Where do you squeeze in alone time with the husband? Any suggestions?

    • Victoria says:

      Well, when I began going to bed about an hour after the kids he was working until almost midnight, so we spent the majority of our time together on his days off. He was working 12 hour shifts so he had several days off a week. We would hire a sitter for a few hours one afternoon and go out together, other days we made the most of nap time. We also had the hour from when we put the kids to bed until when I went to bed on his days off, and sometimes morning time on his work days since he didn’t go into work until almost 11.

      Now that the children are old enough to stay home alone and his job is more 9 to 5–ish. We have the evening hours (I go to bed around 8 or 9) and we also make it a priority to spend a few hours just the two of us each weekend and a big date night once a month. Mornings are currently another time we get alone, since we are both up before the kids.

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